Post by RSunn on Aug 13, 2004 10:27:31 GMT -5
>WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W. BUSH OR JOHN
>KERRY GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
>
>
>My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been
>completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this
>war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
>
>
>This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces
>from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to
>begin the reckoning.
>
>Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
>which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
>The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the
>countries listed there.
>
>The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the worlds
>nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies
>of both lists later this evening.
>
>Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
>nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
>during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
>war.
>
>The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
>Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
>
>Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>
>In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
>toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that
>note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt
>you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
>Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China.
>
>To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys - work out a peace deal -
>NOW. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
>Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables,
>too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
>France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
>retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>
>I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
>diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
>tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
>crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
>have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or
>watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of
>the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
>
>A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely
>to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
>pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and
>his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will
>have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess
>where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something
>with your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States
>
>is abrogating the NAFTA treaty --- starting now.
>
>We are tired of the one-way highway.
>
>It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
>Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
>tootin."
>
>Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
>world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
>planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
>eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
>Soccer from America.
>
>
>To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we
>won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
>
>God bless America. Thank you and good night.
>
>If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
>thank a soldier.
>
>( Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's
>get this to every USA computer!)
>KERRY GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
>
>
>My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been
>completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this
>war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
>
>
>This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces
>from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to
>begin the reckoning.
>
>Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
>which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
>The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the
>countries listed there.
>
>The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the worlds
>nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies
>of both lists later this evening.
>
>Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
>nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
>during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
>war.
>
>The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
>Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
>
>Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
>
>In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
>toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that
>note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt
>you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
>Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China.
>
>To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys - work out a peace deal -
>NOW. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
>Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables,
>too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
>France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
>retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
>
>I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
>diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
>tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
>crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps
>have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or
>watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of
>the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
>
>A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely
>to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
>pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and
>his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will
>have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess
>where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something
>with your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States
>
>is abrogating the NAFTA treaty --- starting now.
>
>We are tired of the one-way highway.
>
>It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
>Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
>tootin."
>
>Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
>world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
>planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
>eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
>Soccer from America.
>
>
>To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we
>won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
>
>God bless America. Thank you and good night.
>
>If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
>thank a soldier.
>
>( Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's
>get this to every USA computer!)